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Time to take the Tube?

Deutsche Bankers are taking the Tube and cutting back on strippers. Bankers of America are skipping the soap. Where will it all end?

How far can banks cut costs before being a banker loses its charm? Following hot on the heels of Citigroup’s productivity guru and Bank of America’s possibly spurious decision to do away with soap and flavoured teas, Deutsche is the latest to take on the cost-cutting mantle.

The German bank is reportedly obliging its staff to take the tube and cut back on lap dances, as well as showering and shaving in the airport.

Does this take the pleasure out of being a banker? How will Deutsche’s bankers cope in the 2nd class cubicles? Or is it time for the industry to come back down to earth anyway? Unleash your fury below.

Comments (28)

Comments
  1. UBS is cutting back on coat-hangers.

  2. …in case their tragically unhappy employees find a new and inventive way to top themselves on-site. Think of the liability.

  3. As a UBS employee who has been through all the cost cutting measures in the bank since the first subprime hit: no colour photocopying, no taxis, budget hotels etc. I find it completely ridiculous how UBS wastes so much money defending legal claims by various stakeholders. The bank needs to sort of its risk management systems to stop hemorrhaging so much cash!

  4. I’v even had to start bringing in sandwithces from home for my luch now…….not cutting back on stripper though!

  5. Bear Stearns is recycling paperclips. Oh wait, they’ve always done that.

  6. Mr……? Asset management – you should bring a dictionary too.

  7. Next week we’re going to have school tracing paper toilet paper rather than quilted double velvet. I wonder what they have in the MD’s wash room

    Smelly Employee Reply
     
  8. THIS IS the REAL LIFE !!!!!

    Welcome (back) to reality

  9. as long as the strippers take the tube to come to our office well all be fine …

  10. Goldman are doing the same – showering and changing at the airport after o/night flights, delaying taxi entitlement till after 10pm if working late, cutting back on business travel etc. All the perks that made those 14 hour days bearable are being taken away….

  11. How about cutting back on senior banker’s expat perks? Housing, private education for the kids, home leave for self and family, tax equalization, etc … and by senior I mean anyone in the business for 10+ years … .

  12. Sweeties, until you’ve experienced cattle class travel with two kids in nappies and no limo either end while you do the day job on your laptop whenever you can snatch a moment, you can’t call yourself a business hero. This is the real deal folks. Prepping your meeting while you fend off your – or (worse) other people’s toddlers – might just even out the workplace playing field, for once. Time to multitask, boys.

  13. ME FIFTY, ME NO CUT BACK ON NOTHING, ME DOWN WITH THE LADIES IN CLUB ! ME MAKING THE DOE WHILE YOU CRYING ON HOES … I WILL TAKE MY LAMBO NOW AND GO DEAL A KHAZAKHYSTAN SWAP!!! 500K PROFIT MADAFAKA!!!!!!

  14. Its funny but at CS they havent cut down in all these things you guys mention, the only thing they have cut down on is employees…. Funny how an MD who was the guy incharge when all the wrong decisions were made concerning the credit crunch, and as manager was responsible for it all is the clown you have to hear from: ” well im sorry but we are going to have to let you go given current market conditions”….. DDDUUUUHHHHHH DUDE ITS YOUR FAULT !!!! not the poor juniors you are cutting!!! have some decency and go home !! clown!

  15. what crap – deutsche bankers and lapdancers? what a mediocre bunch of bankers

  16. For an entire industry which has no REAL input to the REAL economy (never mind the fancy wealth creation stuff from academics) but which prospered by arbitraging real businesses and workers everywhere, alas, this round of elimination of excess is just a dent. It will always be there as long as pension money grows largely, and income is not distributed fairly.

  17. Bankers have spent too much time throwing other peoples money their way…There are too many of them on the ski slopes, in the Caribbean, in yachts, wives dressed in Armani and the like….. they are the real reason for soaring house prices, and soaring prices of everything else. Too much third party cash they have no respect for….

    Carmen San Carlos Reply
     
  18. Maggie and Carmen – get a room – or at least expend your energies on behalf of the Socialist movement – a group of equally discontent and misguided individuals.

  19. Merrill Lynch has the same cost cuts of Goldman, as previously reported. Taxi after 10pm, dinner paid up to 10 (12$ before), no color copies unless for clients, cars instead of taxi, trains to the airport, showers at the airport, but they are not cutting on junior staff, only from VP to MD. I think it’s a fair policy, and this job was crap also before the cuts…

  20. A well run company would have removed all variable cost from the balance sheet; that concludes our strategic analysis.

  21. I agree with Phil totally. Maggie Lee that is absolute garbage. I don’t know what you are studying but it is certainly not finance. Get a proper finance book, read it and understand it.

  22. Poor bankers, i understand your tears. Where i am, I am enjoying the sun, the IB salary at full bonus paid already, the ladies, the people serving me, bankers kissing my a.. begging for a deal. I decided to leave the gray sad square mile for a while. First lesson: always go where the money is. I will be back soon, to bury dead bankers.

  23. and where are you based? I am looking for sunnier climes in 2 years

  24. Cutting those expenses is more a way to show they are “crisis concious” (and justify redundacies) than real cost cutting (although the total amount could be large, it is relatively small). I worked for seven years in M&A in a bank where those perks were not so large as many people are mentioning here but I assume a large number of bankers believe it is part of their compensation. To me most of them are realy incredible and fool from the outside (I am a “client” now and really annoyed when bankers try to charge for incredible and unnecessary costs).

  25. It’s Dubai, Mumbai, Shanghai (HK) or Goodbye for those of us left working in Fixed Income in the square mile. I dare say Sovereing (sic) man is probably working in the Mid East, which is where I’d be if I could get a seat on a flight!

    Fixed Income analyst (for the time being…) Reply
     
  26. DB has always been cutting costs…they only hire second rate bankers. you pay peanuts and you get monkeys.

  27. Does this imply that prior to relatively recently, Deutsche Bank employees WERE able to charge strip clubs (and more!) to their corporate cards???

    Having worked for three tier one IBs, i know that we were absolutely prohibited from doing so (this has always been case, going back to 1998).

  28. reality is that this crisis will end only one way: the taxpayer will pay for all of it. look at Northern Rock, Bear (where JP paid 1bn and Fed 24 or something like that..that is nationalisation..)

    so..i find that disturbing. all this banking industry piled up on cash…and the taxpayer will bail out. what for?!!! this crisis will go away, but banking will re-invent itself..

    so stop winging, get a job in the industry and get the money…

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