Credit Suisse is making redundancies. As we’ve observed, the Swiss bank has parted company with various people over the past few weeks and is attempting to curtail costs in its investment bank after they reached 101% of revenues in Q4. Persons working in Credit Suisse’s feeble fixed income currencies and commodities (FICC) business look most vulnerable. Now is the time for Credit Suisse FICC bankers to get in with senior management, or to live with the consequences.
Fortunately, there may be an easy way of gaining the affections of Gaël De Boissard, the fixed income-focused co-head of Credit Suisse’s investment bank in EMEA. It’s come to our attention that De Boissard’s wife, Shannon, a Harvard MBA and former JPMorgan associate, has her own hair care range: ‘Percy & Reed London.’
Shannon De Boissard’s products include ‘Superstar Supersized Bodifying Cream,’ for bankers who are balding, and ‘Smoothed, Sealed & Sensational No Oil, Oil (for thick hair)’, for bankers who aren’t. You can buy them at John Lewis or on this website.
If you work at Credit Suisse and you don’t want to buy some hair treatments, you could always simply buy the Percy & Reed canvas bag. If nothing else, it might mean that Gaël De Boissard notices and talks to you. And in the current climate that could (possibly) make all the difference.
*This is not an April Fool’s joke.