By now you've probably read about Rudy Milian, the barber who got sick of trimming the tresses of Goldman bankers in New York and so quit to take his clippers somewhere he'd be more appreciated. But have you digested what Milian's testimony says about the hair you need to fit in at Goldman?
According to Milian there are three main criteria that cutters of Goldman hair must meet:
1. The hair must not look like it's been cut.
2. The hair must be cut in less than 10 minutes.
3. The cut must accommodate baldness.
Based upon male hairdressing websites, we'd suggest that this only leaves one real option for the Goldman Sachs banker looking for hair solutions: the subtle faux hawk. This is modeled below by Kal Penn, an American actor whose appearance suggests he might work in banking already.