Famed Twitter handle Goldman Sachs Elevator (@GSElevator), the anonymous banker that feeds the world blush-inducing Wall Street banter, is finally looking to monetize his immense following. The unidentified Goldmanite – or possibly former Goldmanite – who for more than two years has been tweeting about all the unspeakably tasteless, sexist and racist conversations he’s overheard while working at the bank, is shopping a book deal.
The proposal, first reported by New York Magazine, is rather eye-opening, and half suggests that @GSElevator may not be working at Goldman anymore (he says he is willing to embrace his identity if revealed, although he won’t voluntarily shed the mask himself). The book, tagged with the working title Straight to Hell: True Tales of Deviance and Excess in the World of Investment Banking, would be a collection of stories written in the same vein as his tweets, only they’d be as lengthy as 4,000 words, rather than 140 characters.
We learn a few things from the proposal. One: the anonymous banker works – or worked – in fixed income while stationed in New York, London and Hong Kong. He also appears to embrace his celebrity, documenting for publishers his long list of big-name followers and his propensity to elicit retweets. He sells himself – aggressively.
Anyway, we’ll have to wait and see if the book gets picked up, but in the meantime we thought we’d put together a collection of some of the craziest, most arrogant things he’s purportedly overheard. Below is our top 10, if you will. Enjoy, if you can.
10. “Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I’d wonder where the rest of my money went.”
9. “If you brag about starting at the bottom and making it to the top, you are probably still closer to the bottom.”
8. “’Just be yourself’ is good advice to probably 5% of people.”
7. “I’ll take a girl with a sharp wit. Wits never sag.”
6. “Why would I marry? It’s betting some chick half my net worth that I will love her forever.”
5. “My 7 is your 9 bro.”
4. “Is that a brown suit? The back office is in Jersey City, pal.”
3. “Tattoos aren’t my thing. That’d be like putting a bumper sticker on a Lamborghini.”
2. “If you can only be good at one thing, be good at lying… Because if you’re good at lying, you’re good at everything.”
1. “If there is a chick behind me, I always leave my receipt in the machine so she can see the balance.”