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Credit Suisse, Deutsche, or Goldman Sachs?

Which of the three would you rather work for?

In the circumstances, it seems Credit Suisse and Deutsche are increasingly popular choices: neither has accepted money from their respective governments, both are having a good start to the year. Both (allegedly) pay a solid six figures in cash.

By comparison, Goldman is beholden to the vagaries of the US government, but is seeking to repay its TARP cash at the soonest opportunity.

According to both Goldman president Gary Cohn and analyst Dick Bove, Goldman has turned something of a corner.

In a note out yesterday, Bove said Goldman is –

thriving in the current environment. It is likely to produce profits in every quarter this year….

He adds that the newly reborn GS will –

…re-emphasize its position as an investment banker and trader. It will use its new found cash flows to buy distressed debt.

Meanwhile, KBW has issued two slightly less glowing prognostications for Deutsche and Credit Suisse.

According to KBW analysts, Deutsche is ‘well positioned to take market share’ in investment banking but is also at risk of significant further writedowns on its monoline exposure in 1Q09.

Credit Suisse is also expected to take market share ‘in the current environment,’ but ‘may not match the heights of certain peers as we perceive CS’s business mix to be underweight in FX and rates products.”

Comments (40)

Comments
  1. Guy 1 tells a hot girl at a bar you work for Credit Suisse or Deutsche Bank.

    Guy 2 tells a hot girl he works for Goldman Sachs.

    Guess which one gets lucky.

    Goldman Sachs will ALWAYS have the most prestigious reputation in the investment banks, TARP or no TARP, Obama or no Obama.

  2. Henry, your understanding of women is enlightning.

  3. Damn right pal

  4. I wouldn’t say prestige, I would say strangle hold on every part of Government. They won’t be allowed to fail.

    Credit Suisse have been conspicuously absent from most of the recent scandals. Very smart move by paying bonuses in toxic waste last year.

    Deutsch is now owned by Germany so should get sensible again.

  5. if you have to rely on telling a hot girl that you work for GS (or any bank for that matter) in order to get lucky….then maybe you’re talking to the wrong kind of women….it’s quite tragic to hear people having to resort to bragging about where they work in order to get laid….

    why not just take my approach – tell them you have a huge package instead…

  6. What about Guy 3 working at a hedge fund? Any hot girl can comment?

  7. Honestly, none of them.
    CS: bad reputation, seriously they don’t know their job
    DB=CS, they believe to be smart guys, after 2 questions you destroy them
    GS: they believe to know because are GS, but they don’t. I like to keep them working the night with crap believing they will receive an assignment one day from me

    Honestly better to work for a PE, even better for your own PE

    PS: i get girls showing off my great manners, my beauty, my expensive brioni suits and my divine vacheron constantin.
    I noticed that models actually don’t know what is GS….

  8. Must agree on this one, GS will always be the best IB to work for

  9. I think most of the girls Henry hangs round with would not understand the concept of an investment bank (rather like Henry himself)

  10. I get the HSBC guy

  11. And Rothschild own the bar you’re standing in…

  12. I always think it is sad when guys brag about money. It is so obvious.

  13. the proof is in the pudding…

    which bank has poached the most senior staff from other ‘prestigious’ IBs in the past month…

    Deutsche Bank

  14. Hmmm Henry, its about saying the right things to catalyze the hot girl’s hormones into action. Its not necessary about who you work for how much money you have…. “I work for Goldman Sachs baby……….”
    How lame!

  15. i have to agree with henry on this one.

    and alan, is ur package part of the toxic waste that ‘fails to go up’, and is ‘ever-shrinking’?

  16. I am going for the G20 protesting left-wing anarchist babe – my lines are simple

    “I used to work for an investment bank, I realised how I was part of the upgly capitalist monster, I gave my bonus to ‘Save the Janitors in Mexico’, I live a natural and true life now…. want to see how nature told us to (pro)create…?”

    Of course, the point being that I love being part of the capitalist monster and it would be very funny if and when I do pull this stunt off next week!

    Reformed…yeah, whatever! Reply
     
  17. What happens if the Hot Girl works at GS?

  18. Honestly now, working for GS will not increase your appeal to ladies.

    You’ll find yourself nolonger searcing for the embrace for the opposite sex , as you will have a new mistress now, the unforgiving relentless force of GS.
    Say goodbye to your social lives and your hair and your youth!

    Golden carrot on a stick that no one actually catches except a handful of directors. I wasted 5 years there, please don’t do the same.

  19. Rubish. All of it. If you are at GS you have no time to do anything. This is the only reason I rejected them back in 2004. On-shore Private Wealth Management is the way forward. At a small BeneLux bank perhaps.

    Get the chance to hang arround clients and they hot gfs and their hot gfs’ hot friends. Fashion shows. Wine tasting. Yacht races. Premiers. The works.. Best job in the world. Would not trade for a GS partnership. Seriously wouldnt..

  20. I’d rather work for JPMorgan

  21. Henry, most hot girls think Goldman Sachs is a chocolate or something like that.

  22. ‘Henry, most hot girls think Goldman Sachs is a chocolate or something like that.

    RBS banker 41 mins ago’

    and RBS? Redundant Bankers Society?

  23. work? you’d all rather work for your money?
    hahahaha you’re not serious.
    Oh you are? That’s so cute.

    :)

  24. Hahaha.
    “Aren’t I great, I work for GS. Will you sleep with me?”

    Lame.

  25. whatever some of you say, working for GS is still a sexy thing! especially for men – and salary-bonuses have nothing to do with that – guys, it’s all about skills ;) smart people

    PS showing off expensive watches, clothes may work only for a greedy desperate gold-digger, for a girl from a well-off family it looks just pathetic….

  26. Russiancutie, still waiting for our date?

  27. I want to work in any of these. can somebody give me a job????

    Hot girl from Portugal Reply
     
  28. it is true. pirvate wealth guys who ve been in the industry over 5 years are usually the best. networking with clients all the time, they have learnt about art, wine, fine dining, fashion, horses, golf, showbiz. literally everything james bond would knew. best career if you want to combine work with pleasure.

    Asset Mgt Girl Reply
     
  29. ” PS showing off expensive watches, clothes may work only for a greedy desperate gold-digger, for a girl from a well-off family it looks just pathetic….”

    Listen: how many men that have those boring ugly well-off family ladies are cheating with other women? Do you want this kind of life, closed in a tomb with those pretentious ladies and than pay for escorts when you are out of town?

    If you have the money, you are young and successful, you want fast cars and fast women….

  30. @fatcat …..you want fast cars and fast women….
    lol watch out not to be run down!

  31. Mysterious behaviour from GS:
    According to them no exposition to AIG… The AIG bailout was done by Paulson during the Bush-Cheney Administration… and we just learn that GS is one of the main beneficiary of the bail out of AIG with a hhuge exposition to one single name ??? how was that possible ? It seems the bail out of AIG was just a shadow bail out of GS and some other counterparts… Good intuition Mr Buffet. MM

  32. Total Bailout Via AIG Collateral Maiden Lane Securities Lending
    Goldman Sachs $12.90 billion
    Soc Gen $11.90 billion
    Deutsche Bank $11.80 billion
    Barclays $8.50 billion
    . Merrill Lynch $6.80 billion 1.8 3.1 1.9
    Bank of America $5.20 billion 0.2 0.5 4.5
    .UBS $5.00 billion 0.8 2.5 1.7
    BNP Paribas $4.90 billion 0 0 4.9
    HSBC $3.50 billion 0.2 3.3
    Calyon $2.30 billion 1.1 1.2
    Citigroup $2.30 billion 0 0 2.3
    Dresdner $2.20 billion 0 0 2.2
    .
    DZ Bank $1.70 billion 0.7 1
    .
    Wachovia $1.50 billion 0.7 0.8
    .
    ING $1.50 billion 0 0 1.5
    .
    Morgan Stanley $1.20 billion 0.2 1

    .
    Bank of Montreal $1.10 billion 0.2 0.9
    .
    Rabobank $0.80 billion 0.5 0.3
    .
    Royal Bank of Scotland $0.70 billion 0.2 0.5
    .
    AIG Int’l $0.60 billion 0 0 0.6
    .
    KFW $0.50 billion 0.5
    .
    JP Morgan $0.40 billion 0.4
    .
    Credit Suisse $0.40 billion 0 0 0.4
    .
    Santander $0.30 billion 0.3
    .
    Paloma $0.20 billion 0 0 0.2
    .
    Citadel $0.20 billion 0 0 0.2
    .
    Danske $0.20 billion 0.2
    .
    Reconstruction Finance Corp $0.20 billion 0.2
    .
    TOP

  33. Guy 4 : Non-flashy recruiter with good contacts at all 3 banks.
    Avoids doing business in bars; ignores Investment Banker…somehow gets Hot Girl himself.
    PS Then I woke up.

    Guy 4 – Still Searching Reply
     
  34. Left GS to join a HF….Only i-bank id ever return to, bonus or no bonus it has the best culture…wonder if the sweet trolley guy still comes around on the trading floor…his bellowing was hilarious!!!

  35. If the ‘Hot Girl’ works at GS already, she leaves the bar with guy #4 – The headhunter that got her the job…

    PWM Head Hunter Reply
     
  36. Wow. I can’t believe how out of touch a lot of you are with reality. Maybe because you don’t deal with alpha men and women.

    This is how it works: The hottest girls that exist (and by hot I mean in every way – good background, Oxbridge/equivalent educated, beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent, fashion sense) can have ANYONE they want. And when you’re in that position you go for someone who similarly exhibits perfection in every facet – ie an alpha male from a good background. Why on earth would an alpha female go out with someone at a 2nd rate bank like Credit Suisse, who was obviously not good enough to get into Goldmans?

    I know so many girls who will explicitly only date bankers who work at Goldman because they want the best. The problem with hedge funds, private equity etc is because for girls outside finance its hard to decipher what’s actually good and what’s a tinpot bucket shop. Whereas Goldman Sachs has an indisputable reputation amongst all – and if you guys think girls don’t know what GS is then I don’t want to know what sort of girls you associate with.

    Lastly its pathetic to say GS means longer hours, most the desks work exactly the same hours as at rival fi

  37. Couldnt agree more with Henry

  38. Henry – a few quick questions for you…

    How long do you have to stay at Goldman to be true Goldman-material? In my opinion, one can only claim to be true-blooded Goldman if you joined as a grad (thereby demonstrating your innate superiority over wannabes in open competition – as I did years ago).

    While I was at GS, some people managed to join the firm from, as you put it, ‘2nd rate banks like Credit Suisse’ – are lateral hires now ‘Goldman’?

    How would an alpha female view this distinction? Is it about where you work at a given point in time or where you started?

    No point saying only crap people leave as most of my class went to HBS or Wharton and just moved on to different divisions at other banks with other Goldman alumni/PE/Hedge Funds etc…

  39. I dont know who is more pathetic – you guys in a mediocre attempt to show-off or me commenting…

  40. I can confirm the trolley man still bellows out loudly on the trading floor at GS although his customer base seems to have been severely reduced over the last 12 months

    GS has a great work environment but unfortunately they are not the greatest employers and they don’t think twice if they need to lay off

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