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Morning Coffee: Looks like this is the kindest, most generous bank to work for. UBS bankers trapped by ostentation

Bank of America redundancies

Tom Montag will treat you good

Which investment bank does the right thing? Which investment bank cuts entertainment and travel costs before even thinking of lobbing people overboard? Most importantly, which investment bank only lets people go after bonuses are paid?

Try Bank of America. Bloomberg reports that BofA is thinking of cutting headcount spending in its equities and fixed income trading businesses by 5%, and that this could necessitate some job cuts. However, the cuts will only be made after bonuses at the bank have been paid in February.

In this sense, Bank of America looks a lot kinder than Goldman Sachs, Credit Suisse, or Deutsche Bank, each of which has been trimming staff without giving them the bonuses they’re due for 2015. Is this down to altruism or mismanagement? Who knows, but BofA’s traders have COO Tom Montag to thank – the impetus for the delayed cuts reportedly comes from him.

Separately, some bankers have materialism issues. We were helpfully alerted to this a few years ago by Sam Polk, the ex-Credit Suisse trader who had many rounds of therapy to break his “wealth addiction.” Now one ex-UBS banker has decided to take matters into her own hands.- Business Insider spoke to Michelle Domanico, a former leveraged finance analyst, now aged 29, who relates her experiences among the trinket-happy bankers at UBS. “I found a lot of people were making a lot of money in these roles but had built lifestyles around them which were extremely expensive,” she says. The people in question were splurging their money on ‘flashy luxuries like nice watches, fancy cars, Prada bags, or Louis Vuitton shoes.’ When the market turned down after the financial crisis, this unfortunately meant they were trapped trying to find a similarly lucrative role in finance.

Domanico’s solution? To move to private equity fund KKR – and, we suppose, to spend less money. It helps, of course, that the big money in private equity takes the form of carried interest, which doesn’t get paid for years anyway.

Meanwhile:

Citigroup has beaten Deutsche Bank to become the biggest fixed income sales and trading house globally. (Bloomberg) 

It’s not a good time to work in equity derivatives or structured finance at Deutsche. (WSJ)

It”s not a good time to work for an investment bank in Europe. (Bloomberg) 

RBS’s latest ‘provisions’ have nothing whatsoever to do with the investment bank in London. (WSJ) 

China is just fine, says Colm Kelleher at Morgan Stanley. (Reuters)

RBS shares are now at their lowest level for three years. (WSJ) 

If you do an MBA you might earn less at a hedge fund. (Reuters)

The Antarctic explorer who sadly died of organ failure and exhaustion was a presence on the fund management lecture circuit, where he told stories of ‘pushing the mind and body to limits most of us cannot even imagine.’ (Investment Week) 

6ft 3″ NFL footballer is beginning a PhD in mathematics at MIT. (QZ) 

Goldman banker tried commuting between Los Angeles and Singapore. It didn’t really work out. (Financial Times) 

Two ‘tech booms’ later, (in)famous technology banker Frank Quattrone, now 60, is ‘stepping aside’ at the boutique he founded. (WSJ)

Photo credit: Child Tending Broken Baby Seedling free creative commons by Pink Sherbet Photography is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

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