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Hundreds of traders caught up in latest Wall Street scandal

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Financial regulators have formally opened an investigation into the latest rigging scandal to engulf Wall Street and the City of London involving hundreds of investment banks’ sales and trading staff in a complex web of deception, eFinancialCareers can reveal.

Traders and salespeople colluded in in-house chat rooms and emails to “deliberately and maliciously” sway the results of a weekly fantasy football tournament in their favour, according to sources close to financial regulators in the UK and U.S.

In a quest to win the weekly office pool of $27 and a free curry on Thursday night, a select band of Wall Street and City traders attempted disseminate false information on team formation, injuries and cup ties, while also pooling knowledge on the potential ‘hot streaks’ of players they were convinced were “definitely going to happen this week”.

“Christian Benteke’s definitely due a goal. Rumour is that Paul Lambert has been giving him one-on-one header training in the past few weeks,” wrote one UBS trader under the mantel ‘Sergeant Caveman’, who had the team-name Obi Wan Kenobi Nil, in an attempt to convince his colleagues to transfer in a surefire two-pointer.

He later emailed a colleague who opted not to play fantasy football this year: “Just bagged a cool $30. I can good as taste the Jalfrezi. Papadom coming your way, big boy. I also owe you a crate of Cobra. ROFL.”

“Thanx. dont forrget the lime pickel,” was the response.

Many of the traders and salespeople have now moved on to new employers, creating a web of deception that will take regulators years to unpick. Sources suggest that one Deutsche Bank trader with an “insatiable appetite for Indian food”, tried to start a rumour of a new groin injury to Luis Suarez in an attempt to create a mass sell-off and potentially bolster his income by tens of dollars a year.

“This dwarfs by orders of magnitude any inter-company sporting scam in the history of casual workplace betting,” says Professor Andrew Long, director of workplace behaviour, ethical conduct and banker wrist slapping at Shaftsbury Avenue Business School. “It’s another dent into an already battered reputation.”

As you may have guessed, this was our attempt at an April Fool. As it’s now past 12pm in the UK, the game is up. 

Related articles:

FX traders needed; they’re just not wanted

Wall Street’s biggest PR nightmares of 2013

Horrible premonition of Barclays’ LIBOR submitter now facing criminal charges

Comments (2)

Comments
  1. April fools much?

  2. I think this is a joke.

    Anestis Karagiannidis Reply
     

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