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Morning Coffee: Elite student works 75 hour weeks, earns £45k. Deutsche Bank plays dirty on layoffs

Imagine. –  You’re one of the most gifted students of your generation. You strive for a position that plenty of other people want. You get it, and then… you find yourself working crazy hours for a pittance. Such is the lot of academics at the UK’s top universities.

“I can think of few professions where you are financially penalized for securing a job at the most prestigious employer in your sector, but this is the case at Oxbridge universities,” complains an Oxbridge (ie. Oxford or Cambridge) academic writing in the Guardian. While associate professors at the likes of Harvard are paid $121k (£80k), the median salary for an academic who isn’t a full professor at Oxford is just £45k ($68k), says the anonymous writer. For this, he says he works something akin to IBD hours: “In my first few years as an Oxbridge academic, I regularly worked in excess of 75 hours a week, just to keep on top of things.”  – It’s a lifestyle that’s worth drawing to the attention of the young investment bankers who are regretting their choice of career and wishing they’d become academics instead.

Separately, the Sunday Times says Deutsche Bank will be cutting 1,000 jobs in London early in 2016. Given that Deutsche will also be awarding and paying bonuses early next year, that’s unfortunate. Banks in the UK typically insert clauses into employment contracts stating that people won’t be eligible for bonuses if they’re no longer in employment on the date bonuses are due to be paid. It seems likely, therefore, that 1,000 Deutsche employees will not only lose their jobs but their entire bonuses for 2015.

Meanwhile:

“Traders used to be first-class citizens of the financial world, but that’s not true any more. Technologists are the priority now. It’s easier to hire a computer scientist and teach them the financial world than the other way around.” (Financial Times)  

If you want to be  trader now, you’ll need to know about compliance. (Reddit) 

Man moves from the front office into compliance: Deutsche Bank hired ex-Standard Chartered European capital markets head Adam Tyrrell as chief operating officer of controls and conduct at the investment bank. (Global Capital)

What J.P. Morgan’s top staff learnt from their first jobs: “”I worked as a ward assistant at the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne.” (Business Insider)

Credit Suisse chief executive Tidjane Thiam says the bank is not setting profit targets for bankers, to ensure they “do not have incentives to engage in overly risky activities.” (Out-law)

Mark Zuckerberg is taking two whole months of paternity leave: “Studies show that when working parents take time to be with their newborns, outcomes are better for the children and families. (Telegraph) 

The Bloomberg terminal is self-evidently a force for good. But there’s no question that something has gone badly wrong with modern finance. (Bloomberg View) 

What you really need to know: how to talk to computers. (Stephen Wolfram) 

Photo credit: Pablo Fernández

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