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The one thing Wall Street’s elite can’t stop talking about

Cat

Pimco founder Bill Gross, perhaps more than at any other time in his career, is on the ropes. He’s seeing billions in monthly redemptions, his hallmark Total Return bond fund was just beaten by 94% of rivals and he’s trying to recruit new hires amid reports that he doesn’t allow traders to make eye contact with him. Never one to back away from a fight, Gross brought the lumber in his latest newsletter to clients. He wrote about his deceased female cat, Bob.

The first portion of his Investment Outlook newsletter details Gross’s personal and seemingly professional relationship with Bob, a 14-year-old Maine Coon. “I often asked her about her recommendations for pet food stocks, and she frequently responded – one meow for ‘no,’ two meows for a ‘you bet,’” he wrote. “She was less certain about interest rates, but then it never hurt to ask.”

Bob also had a penchant for following Bill around the house, even in areas where she wouldn’t normally be allowed. “It got to be a little much at times, especially when entering and exiting the shower,” he added. Gross then seamlessly transitioned into a discussion on Treasury bills and U.S. Sharpe ratios.

Where did Gross derive his inspiration? The Wall Street Journal took an educated guess. Maybe he, like millions of other investors, was following the advice of fellow billionaire Warren Buffett, who, in a spoof video for his alma mater, said that he’s bullish on cats.

It’s been a weird week on Wall Street.

Five Questions You Should Ask Recruiters (eFinancialCareers)

Perhaps the best part of working with recruiters is the time it saves not having to unearth your own job opportunities. That said, if you don’t ask all the right questions up front, you could end up wasting your time or worse, find yourself blind to facts that are critical to the process.

‘Alien Vs. Predator’ (NY Post)

Fox Business reporter Charlie Gasparino absolutely shredded Michael Lewis’ new book on high-frequency trading in an op-ed for the New York Post. He makes one understated point: HFT doesn’t rip-off mom-and-pop investors. Rather, it burns the other big guys: large banks and hedge funds, mostly.

Long-Term Unemployment (NY Times)

Short-term unemployment rates are back to pre-recession levels, but long-term rates are twice what they were in 2007. More that ever before, employers appear to be biased against those who’ve been out of the workforce for some time.

Credit Suisse is Actually a Great Payer (eFinancialCareers)

If you want to get paid working for a European investment bank, you may want to think of working for Credit Suisse. This is the message from the Swiss bank’s 2013 compensation report, which is out today. Credit Suisse gave its CEO a 26% raise despite missing various financial targets.

Glass Ceiling (Bloomberg)

Just 8% of the top-paid executives at major corporations are women. And those few women who make it to the top ranks earn 18% less than men. It’s an “embarrassment,” said Morgan Stanley Chief Financial Officer Ruth Porat.

Fed Official Walks (WSJ)

An influential Federal Reserve official is resigning from his post just a month after making waves at the central bank. Jeremy Stein said in March that the Fed’s monetary policy should be “less accommodative,” lest we fall back into another financial crisis.

No More Foreign Hiring (Financial News)

Singapore is instituting new restrictions that are making it difficult for local banks to recruit talent from the West. Quietly, banks are being told to hire locally.

Buzz Around the Office

An ‘A ‘for Effort (TampaBay.com)

A Florida man was arrested for providing false information to law enforcement after staging a robbery at his own house because his wife refused to allow him to call in sick to work.

Quote of the Day: ““I’m quite confident I outlasted the men who questioned my stamina.” – Ruth Porat, after learning that her first bosses doubted she had the “stamina” to get past the associate level

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