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Cubist Systematic and other stupidly named hedge funds of the world

Managing your money transcendentally

Managing your money transcendentally

Remember the hedge fund name generator? The site has generated so many hits that it’s attracting advertising from JPMorgan, among others. Steve Cohen does not seem to have consulted it when renaming one of his funds Point72 Asset Management after SAC’s office address, but he may have hit the button when choosing to call two of his other funds EverPoint Asset Management and Cubist Systematic Strategies.

Cubist Systematic sounds like a formulaic experimental artist, but Cohen can take solace in the fact that he’s not the only hedge funder with a weirdly (if not erroneously) named fund. There’s also:

Best of Breed Capital: Sounds like your money will be managed by Crufts.

Fossel Capital Management: Sounds like your money will become ossified beneath a layer of silt.

Pirate Capital: Sounds like your money will disappear and be buried in a casket.

Metacapital Mortgage Opportunities: Sounds like your money will be managed by someone several steps removed from reality.

Norfolk Markets: Sounds like your money will be traded for organic cheeses with someone who shops at Boden.

Trader Capital: Sounds like your money will be managed by someone with no imagination at all.

Waterfall Eden: Sounds like your money will be managed by a cross-legged man wearing a loin cloth who hasn’t shaved for 20 years.  

Related articles:

22 financial firms that will hire you in the second quarter 

There are ten times as many hedge fund marketing jobs as this time last year

Pity the poor quants at Man Group 

 

Comments (1)

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  1. Lol funny stuff… I can’t believe there aren’t more comments.

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