UK
Apparently diversifying your financial portfolio is good investment advice. This is not much use when the markets have decided to behave like kamikaze pilots. Alright then, what about employment diversification?
After two years away from the desk and trying unsuccessfully for months to re-enter my old life in OTC deriviatives, I’ve decided to swap working lunches for pack lunches and strategic talk for toddler talk.
Yes, I’ve become a male nanny. The upside? Never having to look smart for work; no more 6am starts to get into the office. Not having an office, actually. The downside? Well, the school gate chit chat, safely herding hyperactive children home and dealing with fractious nine year olds who would rather watch The Simpsons than do homework.
As with working on the trading floor, being a manny requires charisma, negotiation skills and a good sense of humour. It also requires in-depth knowledge of Lego Bionicle and an ability to cook macaroni cheese at the drop of a hat.
Not exactly what I thought I’d be doing after college but it beats sitting at home watching the dire news on Bloomberg.
At least I feel I’m doing something beneficial. Trying to get an interview with financial recruiting agencies was rather like trying to be accepted into the Garrick Club. Worse, actually. One agency even used that delightful turn of phrase “don’t call us, we’ll call you” after I had tried to impress them with my knowledge of Black Scholes Theory.
I’ve now dropped all that for Black Currant Jam Theory, which amounts to clearing it all off your protége’s face before their mother turns up.
Dealing with mothers is of course a skill in itself. Like your superior barking orders across the office floor, the mother does the hiring and firing. So win them over and you’re half way there.
Frankly, employment diversification is more relevant today than it ever was. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it… that’s what my babysitter used to say anyway. And with London ravaged by ‘adverse weather conditions’ where else can you actually factor in building a snowman as an important element of your job?
Congratulations, you have epically failed in life.
I feel so sorry for you. Your employment prospects are going to be wrecked by having such a stain on your CV.
Your former colleagues are laughing at you. A lot.
Henry mate,
This also give me ample time to be with your girl.
Just pathetic.
everyone has something to be embarassed about, just don’t put it on your CV. Good job your anonymous as well, phew!
Henry, Michael stop mucking about or I’ll fax your timesheets late to the agency. Those account opening documents don’t file themselves.
bring back CDO Joe, i miss his moaning and whinings :-(
Leave the poor chap alone. One less person to claim unemployment. And proof that ex-bankers can do other things. So next time someone refers to us as unemployable outside banking. Ask them to think of their kids. And of course, we should continue to do what we do best, and get what we deserve for it. :)
you bankers (Henr, Michael and co) are utter scumbags. only when the world is permanently spoilt and ruined through your short term, self fulfilling lifes will you actually take a minute to appreciate how fould you have become. I sincerely wish you a horrible existence and who cares if you dont get your bonuses – YOU FAILED EVERYBODY.
Henry and Michael have the right idea; if you don’t work in a front office investment banking role then you are not worthy enough to be regarded as a human being and are deserving only of the most ascerbic ridicule.
There’s more to life, chaps.
Henry mate,
This also give me ample time to be with your girl.
Desperate MeasuresGuy 52 mins ago
Haha, my girl doesn’t go for failures mate. “I’m a male nanny”, way to get the girls.
check forbes500 rich list and tell me how many of them are bankers….
nota*anker,
The difference in quality of life being a billionaire, and a millionaire, is marginal. The difference between being a millionaire and Joe Public on 50k however, is enormous.
Agree, Henry, Michael and Co you are real scumbags, we are where we are because of insensitive psychopaths like you. You are mentally sick.
“The difference in quality of life being a billionaire, and a millionaire, is marginal”
I assume that you are a billionaire? Or are you just playing a guessing game?
Are you people for real, or is this all a big joke? I hope you’re not grown men
I am, because I can’t see how life can possibly get any better than it is now.
Huge bonus + promotion + Valentines day = time to propose :o)
“Joe Public”, as you clearly have no idea, have salaries nowhere near 50K, the average UK salary is less than half of that.50k is a huge salary for Joe Public, and do you have any idea how large it is for people that are unemployed? Try 50 p/w.
A manny?
No but seriously I am amazed people didn’t stash away a rainy day fund. Thats financial planning for you.
Why would I care Ajk? I don’t associate with failures.
JoshSS,
The word is spelt ‘acerbic ‘ not ‘ascerbic ‘.
Now go get me a coffee you twerp. And if you want to be witty, you would be well advised to learn to spell.
nice to see the usual Friday friendliness is back….
Sarah – how does the moderation work? – some of the stuff on here is verbal assualt!!!!
grow up you bunch of bankers – we all know being a manny is equal to being a failure in life – but no need to be so hard on the guy (and his missus…)
Henry is a wannabe…. the office schmuck!!! Its kinda hard to believe Manny will revert to such a job… I guess the market really is tough…
Wow people are really catchin feelins over this, comedy value of efinancial = 10/10
I know a guy who is a dog walker (he wasn’t a banker before). It’s amazing how you can convince yourself that any job is highly skilled. “Looking after dogs, is as demanding as looking after a baby”, he says. It’s not though is it?
stil@Lehman – we do moderate comments (ie. we check things before they go up) and we run most things unless they’re totally over the top or libellous. I admit the second comment is liable to cause offence to some people. In some cases we will withdraw comments if we get a sufficient number of moderator alerts about them.
Henry, an above tempo knuckle shuffle to your favourite internet ‘image’ neither constitutes a relationship or a proposal.
as Mrs Garrison from southpark would say, RETARD ALERT! this kinda stuff is just oh god so lame.
I think it boils down to our obsession with status. We tend to define ourselves by what we do for a living and a male nanny probably comes pretty low down the food chain in the same way a waste collector is valued lower than a doctor.
We’re only too glad when someone comes along who has a job that in no way relates to finance and is in the caring professions. We now have a chance to ridicule and chastise this guy.
Well done, at least your doing an honest job!
Ill give you 50k P/A to be a nanny to my lot
HENRY AND CO I AM DISGRACE BY BEING IN THE SAME INDUSTRY AS YOU GUYS (PLS GROW UP)… BANKERS USED TO BE LOOK UPON BY PEOPLE AS BEING SMART AND HARD WORKING, I GUESS THE COMMENTS ON THIS TOPIC SHOW OTHERWISE. HOPEFULLY OUR NEXT GENERATION OF CARING AND SMART PEOPLE WILL NOT FALL INTO THE “SAME” GROUP AS YOU GUYS SO THAT MANKIND WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO ACTUALLY MOVE AHEAD AND PROSPER.
Good on you Desperate Measures – regardless of what some may be saying, I think this will look excellent on your CV and help in future, regardless of whether you wish to return to financial services, go back to school, or do something else (run your own nanny agency, perhaps). Given the choice between a candidate who sat on their fat redundancy pay for a few years, and a candidate who proactively added something to their CVs, I would go for the latter any day.
maybe you should call yourself a “nanno” sounds a little more respectful. By the way, I’ve got some dirty dishes that need cleaning- snap to it!
My friend was a nanny once- the man of the family made her iron his tighty whitey underwear. Skid marks anyone?
Should be OK as long as the location is Verbier, Switzerland. A few hours on the kiddie-slopes and then off to the pub and nightlife…
Wouldn’t be the same really to be a nanny in Crickelwood.
this website is starting to be a real joke
Banker – Sure, I’ll get you and the rest of the settlements team a coffee. You probably need it after a hard day of spell checking posts from strangers on the internet! Now, go on, those trades aren’t going to settle themselves!
Thanks for sharing your work experience. I disaggree with some of the previous negative comments. Life is a long haul game and you never know how things will unfold. Always a good thing to be flexible and much better than sitting at home whining why things are not the same.
guys, why bearing down this guy!? can happen with everybody! today bonus, tomorrow nothing….!!!!
“can happen with everybody! today bonus, tomorrow nothing….!!!!”
No Russian cutie, it happens with low quality people. Only failures get fired, after 4 rounds of firings only the people who actually deserve to have a job are left.
Congratulation. You have chosen the most rewarding role in the world. Just look at the financial world at the moment. It sucks! Full of pig headed egoistical males who got us in this financial mess in the first place. What out you guys, your jobs will be next. Childcare is recession proof. Learn.
I commend you on making the move. I too left my high paying corp. job – over 8 years ago to be a nanny. Best move I’ve ever made! Now I have a career I can truely look back on and be proud of! Teaching children skills that they will have a for a lifetime and giving them a happy secure childhood is priceless. Hold your head up high!
CONGRATULATIONS on entering such a rewarding career! I wish you all the best being a male nanny!
Lyndsey
http://www.nannyshelpinghand.com
Great for you check out your site http://www.nannyisland.com someone posted your article on one of our boards.
We can help u. And
P.S. These “boys” are wishing they could be u there is one male for every 200 females…So ha ha
Russian Cutie,
Congratualtions! You have won the date of your dreams with me.
How do you fancy going to a bellapasta friday night?
Hey there my fellow, don’t despair! why don’t apply use some of your financial skills to your new job?
You could write NDS (Nappy Default Swaps), for example. In exchange for having other nannies take responsibility for changing a fairly steady flow of your mildly-soiled nappies, you could guarantee to change on their behalf in the case of a nappy default event. ie., chronic nappy failure.
I’m sure Henry and Michael will agree to help you with the modeling.
“It happens with low quality people.”
Really? I know of someone who was fired from a large US bank and spent one and a half years without a job, looking after his kids. When he finally got back to banking, it was a job with a commercial bank that most of the readers would’ve probably turned down. Real guys only work in IB front office, don’t they? Anway, the person I was talking about is Jamie Dimon. Ever heard of him?
At least some of you have had some kind of career in the banking sector. Look at all these economics and maths graduates (me included) who have an extremely tough time ahead of them. Some attitudes on here, however,are the reason why fresh faced graduates, even with little experience, often hold more appeal than those with stale, outdated and offensive views.
oh Henry,
the date of my dream takes more than dinner in some bellapasta!
to Dominic, “low quality people” just quit and never get back. in the challenges like this people become stronger. let him be a male nanny for some time
Sarah,
The attitudes expressed on this website are often a complete disgrace. We are in a serious recession with many people’s lives being destroyed – anyone can be made redundant eg companies close down, go bust etc. There are very few jobs available at present for even good people and in general the way our job market works is not helping because it seems only those who have done the exact job before are considered by recruiters. So for those whose exact jobs have simply disappeared, the future is very bleak.
It is depressing to read half witted and abusive comments like this when many people are struggling to survive – I am sure those who have lost their jobs (and those who are adults !) are thoroughly disgusted by much of this.
It really does not reflect well on e-finanical careers either.
This is one of the most respected sites for the views of professionals working in the finance industry. Some of you are baiting the public with your comments. The last thing we should do is confirm stereotypes, which reflect negatively on the industry.
WELL SAID ANON..WELL SAID..
To Henry, Michael. Standing in the tube like sardines, going to be office to be a slave there, having a sandwich at your desk, coming home tired, worrying about money. Great life!
Dear Friend,
We are a British family, currently have two kids aged 2yrs and 4yrs old, we looking for a Aupair or Nanny from Any Country that can speak English and is willing to stay with us for a minimum of 2years
martinsjohn101@yahoo.com