Such is the unfortunate conclusion of this year’s Armstrong International annual bonus survey. The survey, which covered 500 people at 30 different investment banks and ‘financial institutions’, purports to have discovered that 25% of people will get nothing at all for their bonus this year. Close to another 75% of people will receive bonuses that are 50-70% lower than last year’s and an infinitesimally small percentage of very top performers can expect to be paid 30% down.
“We’re back to 2003 levels, and 2003 was not an amazing year,” one of the Armstrong insiders divulged to DealBook. Things are apparently worst in structured credit sales, rates sales, and corporate finance, where most bonuses will be down 70-100%. Things are apparently best in cash equities and equity derivatives, where top performers will get the same as last year and the majority will be paid down anything from 40-60%.

Yet more UBS executives pay their bonuses back. (Financial Times).

“I would very much like to see more bonuses waived or returned in the interests of the bank.” (Bloomberg).

Obama says Wall St. chief execs should give up their bonuses. (Bloomberg).

A “sincere thank you” is the “most meaningful reward” most people have ever received (says Citigroup). (BusinessWire).

Hedge funds won’t be getting free tech help from Citigroup any more. (Financial News).

Lazard hires Lehman FIG bankers. (Financial News).

Old Mutual hires two equity analysts. (Financial News).

Partnership Assurance, a pensions solution group, is planning ‘aggressive growth’. (Financial News).

Gold could rise above $2k in 2009. (Telegraph).

Government considering direct intervention to set lending rates for British banks. (Guardian).

There is no reason not to be a pirate. (Reuters).

Beware the toxic wife. (Telegraph).