US
In which Mr ABS takes up a temporary position and turns to gambling.
My Gentleman Club’s job lead proved good and I will shortly be starting not quite what I would call a job, but a new assignment.
As far as I’m aware, I’m part of a new breed. I’ve met IT contractors but never have I had the pleasure of meeting an ABS contractor.
What does this mean? I’m not planning to wear jeans with a checked shirt and trainers to go to work, but it might come with time. Sadly, the type of fire-fighting I will be doing in the coming weeks is far more real than the Millennium Bug and far less lucrative. But the market is in such a meltdown that a short-term assignment is still better than keeping a stiff upper lip on the sofa at home.
Until the day that ABS bankers rule the world again, I’m also seeking solace in the lottery. I’ve heard it said the lottery is a tax on the poor. Is my newfound interest in state-funded gambling an acknowledgment of my new status? I think it’s more about buying hope, which makes me rather sad, but for the moment I am planning to stick with it. Whatever the probability that my lottery contribution will do no more than fund an arts club in the Outer Hebrides, there’s always the reassuring thought that all the winners played.
I don’t remember buying lottery tickets when I was a banker. It wasn’t a case of being sensible about the odds or being so well paid that a win wouldn’t enhance anything. It was simply that it never occurred to me to stampede towards the cigarette kiosk and put my pound on what for most people is their only hope of paying off the mortgage before they lose their teeth.
The nationalisation of Northern Rock comes as interesting news. As a taxpayer again it’s fairly welcome. But as a Northern Rock borrower, with a fixed rate period soon to end, it’s a chilling prospect.
The noise is that Northern Rock’s base rate, which is already the highest in the market (7.69%), will be increased to encourage borrowers to refinance elsewhere. Believe me I would love to refinance elsewhere, if I could only find a mortgage lender prepared to lend to someone reliant on the lottery to pay their way.
You have been very fortunate, I am in a similar position and cannot secure a temp role, too much experience and the assumption that I will jump as soon as somethng better comes along!?
After two years of working in the City I’ve realised just how much I am wasting my time. The money DOESN’T bring happiness. Bring on life!
Good luck with the lottery – how ironic the life is, before you and I were “selling lottery tickets” (e.g. ABS deals, Combos, CDOs) now we are on the other side of the trade, we are buying them!
Each and every time I have played the lottery (which isn’t very often), I have won – admitedly only 10, or once 90. I am way ahead, do you think I should cut my losses, or go for broke and buy, say 100 lottery tickets and see if I can win big time. I ask this to the experts of the financial world, you understand…
why not doing something normal with your life like running a portfolio of brands at a multinational eg nestle? international travel, long term career prospects and decent work/life balance – get some perspective on life!
international travel and endless meetings about brand management will not neccesarily lead to a better work/life balance
Someone else said that the lottery is a tax on those who are bad at maths! Surely not an ABS professional!
What does ABS stand for?
Something normal like running a portfolio of brands? Damn what have I been doing with my life? Was too blind to see spiritual enlightenment lay in brainstorming about sunny d and cheese strings packaging
What does ABS stand for? It depends on who you ask… none knows for sure, and that has led to the biggest ever crisis in credit and fixed income markets. Someone now thinks it stands for “Alcohol Breath Screening”, others think “American Bamboo Society”, others opt for “Amphetamine-Based Stimulants”, if you ask me I would say “Automatic Broken System”