Merrill Lynch might have racked up $29bn of losses, but one upside is that it won’t be paying any corporation tax in the UK for years to come. Through a “quirk” in the bank’s internal structure, it has been able to channel the vast majority of the losses through its UK subsidiary, which means its able to offset them against future profits – this could last for several decades. The City of London is beginning to feel the pinch… (Financial Times)

$240m pay day for Lazard Asset Management staff as acquisition nears completion (Financial News)

Money doesn’t make you funny: hedge fund manager spends $3,500 on stand-up comedy lessons, but still receives a lukewarm reception (Bloomberg)

B&B looks set to do an HBOS (This is Money)

The long-running saga of an ex-F&C lawyer who is claiming 19m in compensation over alleged sex discrimination continues. Gill Switalski has won a third ruling in a bitter dispute in which she alleges an 18-month campaign of bullying and harassment against her. F&C says her claims “lack credibility” and believes she faked breast cancer and took up another post while on sick leave…(Financial Times)

We’re all doomed. Nearly… (Wall Street Journal)

“It strikes me that investment bankers, who we all know are pretty smart, tend to behave rather like Incy Wincy spider.” (Telegraph)

More UBS private banking defectors having second thoughts (Wall Street Journal), while the US lets Martin Liechti return home (Financial Times)

If you get fired, try to rein in the waterworks (Cityfile)

…or hone your baking skills (yes, that IS baking, not banking) (Bloomberg)

Fewer bankers in the City means nobody wants the office space (The Times)

“We don’t want the archetypal City idiot, waving his cash about at the bar and braying like a buffoon and annoying women.” (Bloomberg)

Meanwhile, everyone is welcome in New York’s hottest restaurant, except reality TV stars…and hedge fund managers (FINalternatives)