US
In response to yesterday’s intensely popular article about career paths in investment banking, a helpful reader has left a comment outlining what can be expected from each area. For your help and reference, we have replicated it below.
· Operations and technology leads to India.
· Sales leads to Glengarry Glen Ross.
· Private banking leads to a rich spouse (retired trader meets young graduate, true love!).
· Compliance leads to a filing cabinet full of forms.
· Research leads to Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V repetitive strain injury from internet and annual reports.
· Broking leads to strip clubs and depression.
· FX leads to offshore tax havens.
· Equities leads to insider trading charges.
· Investor relations leads to lunches.
· M&A leads to a single powerpoint slide with a line sloping gently upwards to the right regardless of the situation.
The Golden Rule to succeed in any of these is to talk about next quarter enthusiastically while making sure no one has any record of what you said would happen in the previous quarter. Repeat until fade.
Financial sector is summarized by the Golden Rule: always smile and noddle to clients… tell net quarter will be better. Sell dreams not facts. Clients lose money…no worries just smile and tell next quarter will be better…fees are all, who cares about clients, they will forget….
PS: what about private equity professionals? What they end to do?
The best article to date! Good work EfC.
Yeap, Sarah, everyt time I read you it gets better.
Please no more of these article from head hunters sharing their fantasies on the job market…
nice!
agreed with Milwaukee
amusing..but wheres the meat…wudn’t mind a bit of hard hitting news or analysis for a change
As good as summary as any…
Complete junk…
Suggestion:
It would be great if there would be more facetious articles/stories. For example, the headhunters could (anonymously) relate some of the funny stories they’ve experienced in the recruitment industry.
Ditto – Milwaukee
What about quants, where do they go? To hell?
In the end all will go HM Treasury to risk manage sovereign default risk.
Wait … now can HMT sustain a severe stress? Do they have enough capital! Let the banks bail them out … Hang on, where’s the money gone?
If they end up in Risk, yes, they go to hell.
I have just left the finance world after 8 long years and can say I will not miss it in the slightest. What a waste of life – Unfortunately worked mainly with individuals which are not smart enough to justify their huge ego’s and almost every day had to hold my temper in dealing with these semi half wits. Many of these guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes outside the banking world without a big brand name behind them and being fed business.
If you are intelligent, creative and smart avoid finance at all cost particularly the investment banks. Unless you like to play mind games, tell lies and like two faced people then this is not a good career. That said the money is nice provided you are not analyst or associate level since the hourly rate can work out pretty poor and you have limited if any client interaction which is not good for your professional development.